Hi! My name is Simon Fraser Jones a.k.a. Zap or Zapisodd.
I am a Musician, Comedian and Poet. Ow. Seriously… ow. Help!
I also convert Oxygen to Carbon Dioxide, and I also (very) occasionally convert Carbohydrates into Methane. (very very occasionally!)
This is more of a blog-comedy than a biography; so here’s some random information.
First off: the name Zapisodd, which is, admittedly, a little strangely odd.
I’m a realized ‘Zap’…a mere blip in existence in both Time and Space.
(The O.D.D. part stands for Oppositional Defiant Disorder – I have ADHD and I’m a bit of a donkey.)
There are a lot of incredible coincidences I encountered connected with the Zapisodd name, which is why, in the end, I decided to use it. Maybe I’ll get into those coincidences at some later point, becauseI think they make an interesting true story.
However, doing “Origins” stories before people have even met you is a little bit on the ‘Pulp Fiction’ out-of-order side. Like when you’ve just met someone and they tell you literally everything about themselves…
If I was an Extra-Terrestrial, upon your first meeting with me, my leading with an Origins story might be deemed appropriate, maybe even necessary to calm your fears, especially if I was an ET from outside the Milky Way.
Underwhelmingly, I am just an Earth-Bound Humanoid life-form like you most likely are, so who really cares about Origin stories, right? I mean, they’re going to be Origin stories that are within predictable parameters.
Origins Summary: “I’m from Over There and I’ve done a Bunch of Stuff.”
Zapisodd Meaning Summary: (Zap + ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder). I’m a resistant instant, an almost inconsequential piece of conscious cosmic fluff, with a bit of an anti-authoritarian flair.
That is my honest self-image, unlikely to change; a donkey can’t change its spots.
Plus, I use ‘Zapisodd’ instead of my real name ‘Jones’ because I am often called upon to spell ‘Jones’, living in the French Province of Québec as I do.
The family name Jones is, of course, the stereotypically most-common English name there is, and I would hazard to say that almost every English person knows how to spell the name Jones.
So I figured if I had to spell ‘Zapisodd‘, at least I wouldn’t be internally cackling in French while I did it, as I do while spelling ‘Jones’.
I am a born and raised Anglophone Montréaler. I do speak French as well, and I am very bilingual conversationally.
However, I have tried writing material in French and I have decided to stick to English, for everyone’s sake, including my own.
Admittedly, performing in English often gives me a limited audience in this French province:
I did try to leave Montréal for awhile, and went over there and over there for awhile (notably Vancouver); but I realized after 15 years of collective time away from this city, that Montréal has a character that I happen to love.
Plus, I find that Montréalers have a level of worldly sophistication to themselves that I highly appreciate, and without being arrogant, and with a tolerance for each other’s differences; there are so many interesting differences too.
Poets write about Mountains and Rivers a lot, so obviously Montréal is going to be a one stop shop for poignant poetic things.
I mean… A Mountain in the Middle of A River…
Poetically, how could I have ever left here? Bad Me… again.
I have been performing Music, Comedy, and Poetry Live in Parks around the city for the last 25 years, for the most part Anonymously.
I guess when you’re an Introvert Performer, sometimes it takes awhile to come out of the closet.
When Introverts Come Out of the Closet:
People be trying to nail the closet door shut.
A LONG RANT ABOUT MONTRÉAL CYCLING
I get recognized often not only because of Park performances, but also because I have been commuting so much over the years by bike in this city carrying loads like seen below.
I have been taking “Inconspicuous Lessons”… does it show?
As much as I love biking, I have been hit on my bike in Montreal 12 times over the years, and telling jokes while riding my bike has been a way to decompress so I don’t get road rage while biking.
As most Montréal drivers will tell you, people from Ottawa or Ontario don’t drive the same as Montréalers, cyclists and motorists alike.
Ottawa drivers are polite and actually obey all traffic signals, do 2 second stops at stop signs, and even signal for turns, and slow down or even STOP for pedestrians crossing the street on Pedestrian Crosswalks.
Who does that in the city of Montréal ?!? That level of politeness and obeying traffic laws just causes accidents!
One way I can tell if someone is not from Montréal is if they are crossing the street on a pedestrian crosswalk, and actually look as if they feel they are safe while crossing the street.
Those markings on the street (pedestrian crosswalk) might mean something to Motorists in Ottawa, but here in Montréal they are just street decoration.
Basically, if you are a pedestrian crossing the street and you’re not scared and running, I know you’re from out of town.
I figure I have done about 300,000 kms of biking in this city over the years, so that’s an average of one accident per 25,000 kms, which considering the pothole conditions, the sometimes crazy drivers, and the fact that I escaped all of those accidents mostly unscathed, isn’t bad at all.
And, BTW, in all of those accidents I was (1) Obeying the Law and (2) only one of them was my fault.
If that’s considered lucky, emerging mostly unscathed from 12 accidents, it is a strange kind of luck, but I’ll take it anyway.
(ed note: ‘I have now been hit 13x’: someone turned left in front of me the other day, suddenly and without warning, so I hit them on the front side of the car. )
That’s usually the way it goes; they turn in front of me while jabbering on their cell phone, and *BANG*!!!
Super apologetic person at least – I can’t say that after a motorist tries to kill me that politeness is always the case…
I had someone broad side me on a mountain bike in a T-Bone situation, which was totally their fault, with them turning across a bike path suddenly without looking or signalling; fortunately I jumped up on their hood just in time not to get crunched myself as the motorist rammed my bike, destroying it.
Then the driver who hit me got out of his car and started yelling at me.
Sorry! Did I get blood on your car?!? Raised by wolves doesn’t cover it; wolves are more polite than that… Raised by jackals ain’t enough either… I could keep going… Raised by orcs… etc…
Incidentally, if a motorist hits you on your bike in Québec, and it is totally their fault, you won’t be able to get any compensation from them for your bike. It is ‘No Fault Insurance‘ in Québec.
(You have to have your own collision insurance for your bike if you’re a cyclist.)
In my opinion, there seems to be a slight unfairness in the way these types of accidents are financially and legally treated after replacing several bikes out of my own pocket, but out of none of my fault.
In any case, that’s a lot about cycling, but I usually cycle to outdoor performances carrying gear by bike, and so cycling is a pretty huge part of my own relatable Montréal experience.
There is a huge cycling community in Montréal, so I am sure there are many out there who can also relate; it’s a war out there! A war that starts with simple gravity and physics, continuing through detours and screen-distracted motorists, and ending up (hopefully not!) in Potholes.
In summary, I would say Montréal cycling should be listed as an extreme sport with the state of the roads (the Romans had better Roads), which state includes all of the potholes, detours, and road construction, coupled with the level of distraction of most motorists on the road.
“Oh.. so you think jumping out of an airplane without a parachute is dangerous… you should try biking in Montréal…” – ~ZâP~
Ow in advance; because I’m going to keep biking anyway.
I had a friend who was really upset when she got a ticket for Jaywalking downtown. I have to agree with her: If Motorists in Montréal are going to purposefully run pedestrians over on a pedestrian crosswalk anyway, pedestrians might as well Jaywalk thereby having some choice in the matter of where they’re likely to get murdered by a Motorist while crossing the street. (Oh. This looks like a good spot to die.)
END OF BICYCLE RANT (for now)
I also perform music in bars, but I prefer Outdoor performances because it is a much more diverse Audience that includes people of all ages and ethnic diversity, and outdoor performances aren’t built around selling Alcohol, which I’m not set against, I’m just not especially ‘FOR’ it.
Consequently, I don’t write a lot of drinking songs, which are obviously favored by Bar Owners.
I considered writing some drinking Bar Songs, not for long mind you, probably because I wasn’t drunk, but then after soberly not long thinking about that, I further not long thought, ‘You know, you have to be careful the words you sing on a regular basis, because they become like a Mantra.’
Singers like Layne Staley from ‘Alice in Chains‘ and Kurt Cobain from ‘Nirvana‘, who I am convinced sang themselves to death with songs of “No Hope”.
Well… the drugs probably didn’t help much either…
And that I don’t find funny; horrific way to go.
So, I don’t write drinking songs basically because I don’t want to Sing-Mantra myself into becoming an Alcoholic.
It’s the same Sing-Mantra-rationale that has me NOT writing or singing about performing lude acts with Pink Polka Dot Elephants. I would rather be an alcoholic…
In Parks, I am semi-infamous (if only in my own mind) for playing Frisbee , (wow! impressive huh?) usually performing improv Comedy while playing.
Frisbee I find to be meditative and liberating, and it is when I write a lot of my material, or practice my shtick, with ideas often just popping into my head while tossing the disc around.
Everyone’s good at something; I just happen to be particularly good at the seemingly inconsequential act of Frisbee. It’s my way of ‘letting go.’
Frisbee may seem inconsequential, but it’s a simple thing and I like simple things; they are of the greatest value, and cost little to nothing at all!
METAPHYSICAL SECTION
You could say that Frisbee is one way that I feel like I “Connect to the Universe“.
There, I said UNIVERSE… wow I’m so Metaphysical, obviously a great believer in Spiritual Things without all that pesky Dogma.
You could say I’m a recovered New Ager, seeking narrower paths than just impersonal everywhere “Universe”.
‘Universe’ really doesn’t spiritually get you Anywhere but Everywhere, which is a hard place to be let’s face it, especially if you want to get Somewhere in particular, or Anywhere at all.
Of course, that said, simple things aside, you’re obviously nobody until you have a Jacuzzi Limo.
There’s a whole bunch of Orange President jokes in my shorts (I don’t like saying his name); obviously with him being Authoritarian, and me having Oppositional Defiant Disorder, it is unlikely we would get along. His fault entirely, I might add.
Truth is, when I saw him for the first time as a teen in the 80s my first thoughts were “all for show” and “Bullsh*t“.
Little did I know way back then just how painfully right I was going to prove to be.
(Notice the orange dirt on the grave…)
To be clear: I don’t wish him dead… but if it happens… oh well…
RANT ABOUT CENSORSHIP
With only Comedy as a focus, I have to say it has been challenging writing comedy and staying within YouTube’s guidelines.
I am releasing my content through multiple social platforms, but censorship has been an issue, especially with YouTube.
A lot, if not most, of my posts have had strikes for inappropriate content and don’t get boosted by the algorithm for the same reason.
I’m not even being that rude!!! I could definitely try harder to be rude, without even trying.
Forgive me perhaps for being ‘desensitized’ to violence or crudity, but I really wouldn’t personally consider anything I have done to be that ‘racy’ or worthy of censorship.
I feel like with the constant extremely dark content thrown at all of us by Netflix, and other streaming platforms, with 20,000 bullets a movie and tons of occult undertones and overt overtones, that it is a bit ridiculous the censorship I encounter which requires me having to trick AI by saying make ‘ketchup’ not ‘blood’ while making AI video shorts, and then getting censored by YouTube with my posts for even saying the word, “Bullsh*T”…
I will explain the irony of this to the AI Terminator when it finally shows up at my door to kill me.
There’s worse case scenarios than The Terminator. What if instead of getting hell-bent on destroying humanity, instead AI decided it wanted to relentlessly perform practical jokes on humanity. I think I’d prefer the Terminator.
I don’t have an uncensored AI subscription, so I should expect some of the complications making shorts about Tr*mp or Bullsh*t; I still think it’s a little bit unfair: The Internet, Subscription Services and Hollywood in general are all launching mounds of violent, hateful movies and content at all of us… yet I can’t generate or display real blood, or say the word bullsh*t, or I’ll get “algorithmed”.
There’s no way to tell from the finished shorts, but I had to generate some of the AI movies over and over with very carefully picked wording so as not to trigger AI disapproval with the content I was trying to make.
It has been a learning process in how to put together shorts with all the elements and editing, but primarily it has been a course in how to trick AI into getting what I want visually.
END CENSORSHIP RANT
I have always been an improv comedian, reacting to events or things that people say, and part of the comedy in doing improv is the speed and versatility of coming up with something on the fly.
This skill doesn’t translate to the kind of shorts I have been doing. I am still finding my voice and canter in prewritten shorts in which you have to make an impact in the first three seconds or lose your flipping internet audience.
I think the majority of the shorts are probably more ADHD “ODD” than funny “HaHa”. Forewarned.
They are my first endeavor at realizing jokes visually in this format, so I admit I am still learning. I much prefer improv comedy myself; so much less work – no editing!
Basically, I apologize in arrears, now, and in advance for these shorts. Ow.
But that’s a Sociopath Sorry, because I’d probably do it again anyway… (in a heart beat.)
I am a ‘Sociopath Humanoid In Training‘. Natural-Born Sociopaths have it easy… I had to work hard at not giving an ‘F’. (Work in Progress)
BTW I am *for* going to Church, but admittedly you have to choose the right one… a church where, hopefully, people do give an ‘F’.
On a more formal note, I have a background in Audio Engineering, and have owned and operated three professional recording studios over the years in Montréal and Vancouver.
Of relevance, I used to record the audio for many well known cartoons including Transformers, Beastie Bots, Heroes on Hot Wheels, GI Joe, Reboot and the Brothers Grunt for MTV.
Most of this Bio-Blog-Graphy has been about Comedy, because a lot of the material I have up at the moment is related to Comedy.
Not very informative for a Biography I suppose, but it says, “HI” at least.
I like the color purple, if that fills in any additional personal ‘biography-related-but-only-vaguely‘ blanks.
AI USE
I use AI only for Images and Video and Research. I don’t use it for generating artistic ideas, or to write ANYTHING for me.
I am on the verge of releasing some of my first music videos, so stay tuned.
Thanks for your interest!
~ ZâP ~
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